We’ve all been there—a child, eager to help, carefully clears the dinner plates when suddenly the room is pierced by the sound of dishes shattering on the floor. “Oopsy…” the child gasps, wide-eyed, as fragments of plates scatter across the room like confetti.
What happens next? Maybe frustration bubbles up at the mess now spread across the floor. Perhaps there’s a mix of concern for the child and regret over the lost kitchenware. Or maybe, just maybe, patience prevails.
Regardless of how you typically react in these moments, there’s one thing we all miss: an incredible opportunity to teach our kids—and ourselves—a valuable lesson about failure.
In Japan, when a child breaks a plate, it’s not met with scolding but with celebration. The child might even be scooped up in their parent’s arms and cheered on for the mistake. The Japanese art of Kintsugi, meaning “to join with gold,” involves repairing broken dishes with gold lacquer. The repaired cracks, now filled with gold, transform the once-broken plate into something stronger, more beautiful, and more valuable than before.
As parents, do we focus more on the outcome of the failure rather than the value in the mistake? Do we default to criticism when we could be seizing the moment to encourage and restore? Instead of discarding something after a failure, should we be looking for the new beauty that can emerge through the process of repair and rebuilding?
We live in a society that loves to highlight and replay others’ mistakes, from Fail Videos to blunder-filled stories going viral. This environment amplifies our children’s fear of failure. But what if we could change that? What if we could help them see that failing often is not just okay but essential for growth?
As Winston Churchill famously said, “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts.”
To help our children embrace frequent failures as stepping stones to discovering value and success in life, we need to focus on three key areas: Creating Opportunities, Curiosity in Life, and Leading by Example.
1) Creating Opportunities
Creating opportunities for our children to try new things and take risks is essential. It’s about encouraging them to step out of their comfort zones and experience the world with all its challenges.
- Practical Ideas to Consider:
- Adventure Awaits: Encouraging New Experiences
Encourage your child to try new activities, whether it’s a new sport, a hobby, or joining a club. New experiences are ripe with opportunities for learning and growth. - Risk-Taker Rallies: Celebrating Brave Attempts
Celebrate your child’s willingness to take risks, even if they don’t succeed. Acknowledge their courage and the lessons learned from each attempt. - Challenge Champions: Setting Personal Goals
Help your child set personal goals that push their boundaries. Working towards these goals will naturally involve facing and overcoming failures.
- Adventure Awaits: Encouraging New Experiences
2) Curiosity in Life
Instilling a sense of curiosity in our children encourages them to explore, ask questions, and embrace the unknown. Curiosity leads to discovery, and discovery often involves trial and error.
- Practical Ideas to Consider:
- Question Quests: Encouraging Inquisitive Minds
Foster a home environment where questions are welcomed and explored. Encourage your child to ask “why” and seek out answers. - Discovery Days: Exploring Together
Spend time with your child exploring new places, ideas, and activities. This shared curiosity can lead to valuable learning experiences and teach them that it’s okay to make mistakes along the way. - Wonder Workshops: Hands-On Learning
Engage in hands-on projects and experiments that require trial and error. This could be as simple as baking a new recipe or as complex as building a science project.
- Question Quests: Encouraging Inquisitive Minds
3) Lead by Example
Children learn a great deal by watching their parents. By leading by example, we can show our children how to handle failure with grace and resilience.
- Practical Ideas to Consider:
- Role Model Resilience: Sharing Your Own Failures
Share your own failures and the lessons you’ve learned from them. This shows your child that failure is a normal part of life and growth. - Bounce-Back Bravery: Demonstrating Recovery
When you encounter setbacks, demonstrate how to recover and move forward positively. Your actions will teach your child that resilience is key. - Growth Mindset Guru: Embracing Challenges Together
Adopt and model a growth mindset. Show enthusiasm for challenges and the learning opportunities they present, making it clear that mistakes are part of the journey.
- Role Model Resilience: Sharing Your Own Failures
As parents, it’s essential that we teach our children to fail often and view each failure as a stepping stone to discovering value and success. By focusing on Creating Opportunities, Curiosity in Life, and Leading by Example, we can help them develop the resilience and confidence they need to thrive in life.
Romans 5:3-4 (NLT) reminds us, “We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation.”
Additionally, 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NLT) states, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” This scripture reinforces the idea that our weaknesses and failures are where God’s grace and strength shine the most.
This passage encourages us to see challenges and failures as opportunities for growth. By teaching our children to embrace failure, we help them build the character and hope that will guide them throughout their lives.
Do you encourage your child to take risks and embrace failure as a learning opportunity? An even better question is, how do you think your children view failure based on your own life example? How can you create more opportunities for yourself and your children to fail often and grow from those experiences?
Let’s commit to teaching our children that failing often is NOT something to fear but a crucial part of God’s good plan and purpose for their life journey.
