Failure-Friendly Parenting (pt2)

As kids grow older, their fear of failure and the embarrassment it might bring tends to increase. Do we, as adults, influence how our kids perceive failure? In a world where Fail Videos have replaced the wholesome laughs of America’s Funniest Home Videos, it’s easy to see why kids are afraid of making mistakes.

How can we help our children see failure differently in a world where no one wants to be the next viral sensation for all the wrong reasons? The answer lies in teaching them how to FAIL WELL. But what does it mean to fail well?

Henry Ford famously said, “Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.“

To teach our children to embrace failure as a stepping stone to success, we need to focus on three key areas: Positive Affirmation, Undivided Attention, and Availability.

1) Positive Affirmation
Positive affirmation involves helping our children understand that failure is a natural and valuable part of life. It’s about encouraging them and reinforcing their worth beyond their mistakes.

• Practical Ideas to Consider:
  • High Fives for Tries: Celebrating Effort Over Outcome
    Celebrate your child’s hard work and dedication, no matter the outcome. This helps them appreciate the process rather than just the result.
  • Strength Spotlight: Remind Them They’re Awesome
    Regularly remind your child of their strengths and past achievements. This builds confidence and resilience.
  • Oops to Aha: Turning Failures into Fabulous Lessons
    Teach your child to see failure as constructive feedback. Encourage questions like, “What can I do differently next time?” instead of “Why did I fail?”

2) Undivided Attention
Giving our children our full attention, especially when they’re struggling, shows them they’re valued and supported. This sense of security is crucial for fostering a growth mindset.

• Practical Ideas to Consider:
  • Listen Up, Parents: Lending an Ear Without Interruption
    When your child talks about their failures, listen intently without interrupting. Show empathy and understanding by actively listening.
  • All Eyes and Ears: Quality Time Without the Screen Time
    Set aside daily time to connect with your child without distractions.This is a great time to put down the cell phone and make some eye contact. 😉 This strengthens your bond and opens the door for meaningful conversations.
  • Tell Me More: Questions That Lead to Wisdom and Giggles
    Encourage your child to express their thoughts and feelings. Questions like, “What did you learn from this experience?” can lead to deep, insightful discussions.

3) Availability
Being available means being there for our children when they need us, especially during tough times. Our presence provides them with the support they need to navigate failures effectively. 

• Practical Ideas to Consider:
  • Check-In Champions: Scheduling Weekly Wisdom Chats
    Schedule a weekly check-in with your child to discuss any challenges they’re facing, celebrate their successes, and provide guidance. Regular check-ins help create a consistent support system.
  • Open Door, Open Heart: Always Ready for a Chat
    Make sure your child knows they can come to you anytime they need to talk or seek advice. An open-door policy fosters trust and security.
  • Fun and Done: Bonding Over Shared Adventures
    Participate in activities that your child enjoys. Whether it’s playing a sport, cooking together, or working on a hobby, shared activities strengthen your bond and provide opportunities for supportive conversations.

As parents, we need to learn and demonstrate the principles of failing well to teach our kids not to fear failure. Romans 8:28 (NLT) reminds us, “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.”

This means that God uses everything, including our failures, for good. We should not fear failure but instead, create opportunities to FAIL WELL for ourselves and our children.

Do you provide a healthy example of failing well for your children and yourself?
Personally, I recognize that I am still working on this, striving each day to improve and set a better example for my kids.

Let’s embrace failure and teach our children to see it as an integral part of their journey towards success.